It is that time again for the dubious distinctions to be directed toward their derelicts. This weeks winners are definitely deserving of being chosen.
ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK
Representative Lamar Smith (R-TX)
The esteemed representative from the great state of Texas is the recipient of the Asshole Of The Week award. Like most of his counterparts in the Republican party, Mr. Smith is against immigration reform. He would prefer that we simply deport all of the illegal aliens that reside in our country. This week, he warned GOP members to oppose immigration reform as it would give the Democratic party “millions of votes”. Wow. Really? That is a really good reason to deny immigration reform. No wonder our Congress cannot get anything done. With hints of wisdom and racism combined like this, Mr. Smith is this week’s most deserving award winner.
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK
Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL)
The esteemed senator from the sunshine state is proudly awarded the Douchebag Of The Week award. He was chosen by the Republican party to respond to the President Of The United States’ State Of The Union speech. He used this opportunity to show party strength and lack of intelligence by announcing that he still lives in the same working class neighborhood that he grew up in. He said that most of his neighbors are the ones who get up early every morning to go to work or receive Social Security and Medicare benefits. He stated that he was proud to be neighbors with these people and that reforms to Social Security and Medicare need to be made for these kind of people. He sealed the deal for this week’s award when he failed to mention that his house has been for sale since last fall. He is currently trying to sell the house in an effort to move his wife and children to District of Columbia. It was a nice touch of douchebaggery. Brag about how much you love your neighbors and fail to mention that you are ready to up and go the minute the house is sold.
Until next week, enjoy your time and time your enjoyment.
-Peace, hair grease, and love.